In one of the family meetings, and while we were sitting talking after lunch, as is the custom of our family on Fridays, when my brothers, their wives, and their children used to gather together at my father’s house, the eight-year-old Hamza caught my attention, how he interacts with his peers from the children of the family, he points to this explaining, and waves his hand Explaining, he suggests new games and the way they are played, so they follow him in that, enjoying their performance, and they always direct the conversation to him… His presence among them was overwhelming and influential, which aroused my anger and provoked my mind, so I found myself wondering: Is driving something innate or an acquired skill? Is it possible to raise our children to become leaders in the future?
Let’s know together what leadership is, and who is the leader.
How can we make great leaders out of our children?
What is leadership?
There are many definitions of leadership and they overlap a lot with the concepts of management, and of course the relationship between them is closely related, but leadership differs in its essence and content altogether from management, and perhaps the latter is an important part of the previous one, but its existence does not represent an absolute necessity for the manager to become a leader.
Among those definitions that can bring you closer to the concept of leadership are what James C. Hunter said:
The skill of influencing people, working enthusiastically, to achieve specific goals that are in the common public interest, through a trustworthy, upright moral personality.
And also the definition of “John C. Maxwell”: “Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less.”
You may have noticed with me that leadership in the previous two definitions revolves around influence.
Whenever your child’s personality has a strong influence on those around her, she will get her rightful place on the steps of the leadership ladder.
But is influence alone enough to make your son’s personality a leader?
Of course not, there are some qualities that a successful leader should have, and your knowledge of them is also important and necessary.
Look for its presence in your son’s personality, and then you will have located your child well from it, and thus take control of your affairs, and begin your journey to make your little leader.
Who is the leader?
A leader is someone you can follow to a place you would never have dared to go alone.
– Joel Parker
The leader has certain psychological characteristics and attributes that qualify him to look at the capabilities and capabilities of his team or his followers, to exploit them optimally, so he works to direct each individual to do what suits him and perfectly suits his capabilities, thus achieving the team’s goals and public interests.
The importance of leadership for your child
Its importance is not only in leading others, whether it is at the level of comrades and friends, or colleagues at school, or even the work team when he grows up and becomes a prestigious job.
However, the importance of leadership is very clear in that it burdens the personality of the individual himself, and makes it more balanced and stable in facing the various challenges and pressures of life. You make him aware of his advantages and disadvantages, his successes and failures. You can say that leadership makes him the captain of his ship in this life.
Leadership methods
If you can not lead yourself, do not try to lead others. – William Bean.
What are the methods that you can follow in raising your child, to instill leadership qualities in him so that he grows up as a great leader?
1- Give him sincere love
Always lavish your child with sincere and sincere feelings of love, which come out of your heart to reach directly to his heart, satisfying his affection and his constant need for love.
2-Let him take responsibility
Accustom your child to take responsibility for his actions and words, which he chooses and which stem from his personal choice.
Don’t try to find excuses for his mistakes, and allow him to learn from them.
Reinforce his responsibility in the small things that he does: cleaning his bed, taking care of his room, and taking care of his food dishes after eating, are all small things that he can do and take full responsibility for himself, for sure that will greatly enhance his responsibility.
3- Get him used to the solution instead of complaining
Leadership means the ability to solve problems, make decisions and be quick-witted.
When your child presents you with his small problems, invite him to think about solving them together instead of presenting the solution directly to him without bothering him or thinking,
and after you present the different solutions, help him make the appropriate decision that in turn can solve his problem in a way that satisfies him, and makes him feel confident and that he is capable of leading his life.
4- He loved learning
Instill in him the love of learning and knowledge, let him ask all his questions to you, and help him reach the answer to them himself.
Spread your wings for him so that he can feel safe under them as he discovers this vast world around him.
Do not rely on the inherited to indoctrinate him without understanding, but face his argument with reason and logic, and tell him that for this universe a God created everything with a measure, in proportion to his age, perception, and understanding.
5-Share his celebration of success
When he achieves some success, even in a simple matter, invite him to celebrate, and give him confidence that he deserves, and that victory is his ally due to his diligence, perseverance, and trust in God.
Encourage him to share the successes of his companions and friends, and even help him to have a prominent role in such occasions, to rejoice for them as he does with his achievement and success.
6- Encourage him to be proactive
Many such situations pass by you together inside or outside the house and you need a proactive person to solve the emergency crisis or problem that occurred: broken glass in the middle of the road that you lift and put aside,
an elderly woman who wants to cross the road and is looking for a hand to help her, so she hastened to provide Help and assistance.
Your doing such situations will inculcate in your child’s mind two important qualities for preparing leaders: namely, role models and initiative.
He sees with his own eyes how to be a role model, and learns a practical model for initiative, and he is the person that others wait for to start taking the lead.
7- Encourage him to admit his mistakes
A mistake is not a defect, but the real defect is our arrogance and our insistence on our mistakes, and a brave leader does not hesitate to admit his mistake, apologize and retract it in front of everyone.
8-Don’t extinguish his laughter
The child is naturally cheerful and loves humor and fun.
Do not quench his cheerful spirit with the phrases “Be a man” or “Why are you laughing, you disappointed” or “Laugh as if you have lost your sense” and similar phrases that are destructive to the souls of our children, which push their self-confidence to the abyss.
But let him add an air of gaiety, as long as he does not go beyond the bounds of common taste and decency.
9-Don’t feed him a golden spoon
Do not make everything easy for him, and let him go through different and varied difficulties that suit his age, and you know in advance that he can overcome them, based on your knowledge of his capabilities and capabilities, so let him try himself and let him stumble and get up,
then stumble and get up, but under your eyes so that you can intervene in time, lest the matter be reversed.
To a sense of failure, frustration, and a kind of self-flagellation.
10- Give him absolute confidence
What distinguishes leaders most is their possession of a huge store of confidence within them, which helps them to overcome many difficulties and challenges, a confidence that gives them strength to stand in front of everyone,
indifferent to the plots of the plotters, the hatred of the haters, or the ridicule of the mockers.
Get him accustomed to working diligently and diligently, and make his small actions a great return in himself, as you should avoid blame and reprimand, and repeated destructive criticism.
11- Cultivate in him the spirit of perseverance
Assign him some work that needs a long time, such as coloring a mandala (it is a complex drawing inside a circle, with repeating patterns, and it has many spaces, and the exercise is to color these spaces with the colors you want), or origami art,
for example (the art of folding and bending paper to get certain shapes), any activity that he spends a lot of time doing, and encourage him to go all the way to the end.
12- Encourage him to talk
Leaders can express themselves well and do not restrict their opinion or confiscate their right to express and respond in any way, in all matters, no matter what happens, you must give him the right to speak and express and give yourself the right to listen and be silent,
and then guidance comes after that, this will It prepares him to be a tactful leader who can present his ideas smoothly, express any topic clearly, and even express his opinion on what is going on around him.
13- Foster the spirit of giving
Leaders are naturally giving people, they are good at giving and serving people, and they work to direct them to the right action and encourage them always, they support those around them morally before supporting them financially,
so you have to instill this spirit in him by making you a role model that he sees with his eyes and his heart is satisfied with it.
