We always see an argument in the morning between mother and her son because he refuses to go to school and mother makes a lot of attempts in order to convince him to go, but it’s worthless, the matter ends either with mother surrendering to the child’s desire not to go or her stubbornness and insistence on going which causes problems between them, we will explain in this article how to deal with a child who refuses school so that all parents are fully aware of how to act in such matters in order to live with their children in a stress-free atmosphere.

Reasons why a child refuses to go to school

If we want to know how to deal with a child who refuses school, we must first know what are the reasons that make him refuse to go there, and based on these reasons, the solution can be determined and how to deal optimally, these reasons are as follows:

• Fear of school.
• The desire to be introvert.
• Attract the attention of others.
• Feeling of sleep and drowsiness.
• Anxiety about separation.
• Enjoy the vacation.

Fear of school

• One of the biggest reasons a child refuses to go to school is fear of it, the child can be asked about his feelings toward school, whether by asking directly or by asking him to draw school, for example.
• It is possible that his classmates have bullied him before, someone has hit him, the teacher’s voice is too loud, or he is talking to the child in a raspy way.
• There are also some reasons you can know from a child that causes fear of school, which is that he may have been harassed there, witnessed any incident in the same way and was threatened not to speak.
• There may be something scary for the child there or he is afraid to go alone or someone is harassing him on the school bus.
• There are many possibilities, one of which may have happened to him, which makes him afraid and the best action in this matter is to ask the child, as well as monitor his actions and behavior in order to solve the problem.

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Desire to be introvert

• The child’s shyness and feeling of introversion may be another reason for his refusal to go to school, as activities for sharing with other students and teachers may not be liked by the child and prefer to be introverted away from them.
• If a child is known to have an introverted personality, this should not cause concern to parents because it may make sense because the solution is not as difficult as some imagine.
• But if parents are ignorant of this information, it is because instead of the child they do the tasks that must be done themselves and this is evident in the questions of others.
• These questions include asking about the child’s name or age, so in this case you must contact the school in order to learn about the child‘s social behavior within the school.

Attract the attention of others

• One of the most common reasons a child refuses to go to school is their desire to attract the attention of those around them.
• A child who misses school gets a lot of attention from parents, colleagues, family and teachers and may get some calls and gifts.
• Because of this, some children prefer this, they pretend to be sick or miss school in order to cause anxiety to those around them in order to harvest their attention.

Feeling sleepy and dizzy

• A lot of kids want not to go to school because they want to sleep because they didn’t get enough sleep last night.
• The child begins to make a lot of phrases in order to refuse to go, and that he has not slept well, which makes him unable to wake up early in the morning.
• If you want to get rid of this, we must prevent anything that hinders the child from waking up early and making sure that he gets his full need for sleep.

Anxiety from separation

• Separation is one of the most common reasons why a child does not want to go to school and this may most likely happen in the child’s early stages of nursery or school.
• Many young children worry about being away from their mothers and being around for too long.
• Therefore, mothers are advised to prepare the child to go to school and that he will return and spend time with him after he returns.

Enjoy the vacation

• The child may wish not to go to school in order to enjoy the vacation away from any duties or lessons.
• Children always want to stay at home with their mothers in order to watch TV or use the phone freely.
• This may lead them to drop out of school and neglect their lessons in order to have a good time.

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How do I deal with a child who refuses school ?

We have provided all the reasons that may push the child to refuse to go to school, but there is an important thing that must be paid attention to, which is how to deal with a child who refuses school in order not to repeat the matter and go to school and this is done in some ways as follows:

• Addressing the causes of the child’s fear of school.
• Preparing the child psychologically for the school stage.
• Strengthen the child’s personality.
• Give the child the necessary attention that befits him.
• Attention to the child’s nutrition and sleep.
• Build a healthy relationship with the child.
• Talk to the child about the importance of school.
• Communicate with the school administration.
• Collaborate with the school to develop a joint plan between them.

Treatment the causes of a child’s fear of school

• This method is the main way of knowing how to deal with a child who refuses school in order to overcome the child’s fears of anything he faces from going to school.
• If the reason for the child’s refusal to go to school is the fear of bullying from classmates or from the teacher, contact the school administration to resolve this matter.
• If the child is afraid to walk alone, he must be accompanied by one of the parents so that he can get used to the road.
• You should also talk with a child who does not want to go to school openly and comfortably so that he can speak freely.
• Stand by the child and not intimidate or blame him and must be supported, understand his position and listen to all his justifications that push him not to go to school.
• There should be great trust between the child and the mother before entering the school so that it can be built on and save time and effort in bringing the distances closer afterwards to get to know what he feels.

Preparing the child psychologically for the school stage

• There are many children who are weak in character and therefore tend to stay away from colleagues, teachers and introversion, the solution to this problem lies in strengthening his personality and raising his morale and self-confidence.
• If the child feels shy about school, he can be given some gifts to give to his classmates, as well as make him participate in some activities that make him interact with his classmates and get very close to them.
• School has big role in strengthening the child’s personality, the mother should let him answer his relatives when they ask him questions.
• The process of strengthening a child’s personality is one of the most important ways to know how to deal with a child who refuses school, as well as in order to form a personality capable of dealing with life in the future.

Give the child the attention he deserves

• An important way to know how to deal with a child who refuses school and works to bring the child and family closer together.
• In the event that the child feels ignored or not cared for, which makes him walk and not go to school, parents should be keen to provide attention to him in all cases, not just during illness.
• This solution is what specialists offer and is to guide parents to provide all feelings of love to their children without condition.
• They must also spend special time for their children away from phones and screens, and can offer kisses and hugs and say love phrases in order to bring them closer.
• All these things give the child the possibility of satisfying his affection and feel safe and that he is of interest to many, especially his parents.

Caring about the child’s nutrition and sleep

• One of the best ways to deal with a child who refuses to go to school is also an important way to maintain a child’s health and strengthen his physique.
• The mother in particular should take care of her child’s access to healthy food, and make a routine for sleeping early in order to wake up early and go to school.
• Ensure that the child is taught the skill of time management and task organization, as he can allocate time for entertainment and time for study.
• Children should be offered a lot of healthy foods that do not cause laziness, which causes increased activity and vitality for them, and no plan comes in his mind not to go to school.

Building up a healthy relationship with the child

• This is not only a way to know how to deal with a child who refuses to go to school but to strengthen the relationship between the family.
• Parents should build a healthy relationship full of security, especially between mother and child, interspersed with the possibility of the child accepting to be away from his mother for some hours a day.
• In the event that the child insists on his mother staying with him, you must move away gradually, that is, you can sit with him on the first day for a long time, and reduce the time as the days pass.
• The mother must commit at a certain time to leave him alone and go to pick him up after school or nursery so that he does not feel separated.

Talk to your child about the importance of school

• One of the most important ways to know how to deal with a child who refuses school is to talk to the child directly, especially in matters related to school.
• There should be a lot of talk with the child in order to introduce him to the importance and advantages of school, which makes him want to go there.
• The child is also introduced to the benefit of getting to know his classmates, gaining knowledge and making his way towards achieving his dream in the future that starts from school.
• After going to school, the child can be asked what happened to him best after he went there and this increases his attachment to school and accepts it and never leaves it.

Communicate with the school administration

• One of the most important ways to know how to deal with a child who refuses school is to communicate with the school itself.
• Communicate regularly with the school administration and make it clear to them that the child’s refusal to go to school is not only a family responsibility.
• The school administration must be told that it is an integral part of the child’s unwillingness to go to it, and the problem between the family and the school must be resolved.
• It is necessary for the school to know the reasons that prevent the child from loving to go to it and what problems he faces and must be solved as soon as possible so that the child organizes with his classmates.

Collaborate with the school to develop a mutual plan

There are many ways through which cooperation between the family and the school can be done in order for the child to return to the right path and stay away from his desire not to go to school, which is one of the most important ways to know how to deal with a child who refuses school, but some things must be taken into account, which are as follows:

• Submit a request to the school not to burden the child with difficult work related to the school that makes him want to go to it, as well as to limit the perception of his classmates and teachers.
• Develop a plan that enables the child to learn all the methods by which he can love school and always want to go to it without anyone asking him to go.
• In the event that the child has a problem and suffers from separation, the school can make a plan in order to transfer the child to school from the car, this can be done by the teacher going outside, meeting the child in front of the car and accompanying him until he reaches his place in the school.
• A program that brings the child closer to school can be discussed, which is that the mother stays by his side at first and then the process of staying day by day decreases so that he can overcome any fear he encounters, especially in light of his homesickness.
• A plan can be made to direct the child to the school library and read books, novels and stories that bring him closer to school and make him relate to it.

Other ways to explain how to deal with a child who refuses school

There are some methods that are not mentioned in the article that can be used in order to answer the question of how to deal with a child who refuses school, and they are as follows:

• Parents can teach the child some relaxation methods, which are deep breathing as well as stress management skills.
• Allow the child to contact the parents at a certain time of the day.
• Provide rewards to the child if they attend school on a regular basis and explain the consequences of not going.
• Provide a photo of the parents with the child in order for him to feel comfortable.
• Establish an expectable morning routine.

In this article, we explained how to deal with a child who refuses school, and all the reasons why he refuses to go and how to solve any problem he faces in order to love school, but the mother must know that the child’s refusal to go to school is not a worrying matter and it is necessary to deal with it calmly away from tension and nervousness, where you must know the reasons and think about the solution and cooperation between the family and the school administration can be done.

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